Week 2 stretched on from the 10th of July to the 16th. This week was a very topsy-turvy kind of week. If that makes sense.
Day 8 was odd. It didn’t start out too great. Over the course of the day, I learnt something that made me happy. Something that I didn’t know but ended up making my heart swell. I’ve always been someone who has a handful of friends but some times feels as though they don’t care as much. It took me years to understand that comparison kills everything. Day 8 strengthened my belief in my support system. I asked for an extension on my project as well. It was a day where I met my favourite teacher, spoke to my favourite person and spent time with my Mum. It gave me a chance to be alone and to be comfortable being by myself.
Day 9 was nothing too special. I was able to get through the day without getting angry and then sleeping once I got home. It was also a day where I read a piece in The Grinnell Review which got me thinking. It left me confused, intrigued and moreover, inspired. Something inside me that day grew. I felt as though my creativity had suddenly sparked and ideas came rushing in my head. I didn’t write that day, instead, I went to bed a little early.
Day 10 saw the light of something stylistically different for me. Not just that, I had now reached a place where I had everything I needed. I knew what all I owned and where everything was. It made it easier for me to pay attention in class and get things done when I got home. That day I wrote a piece inspired by the one I had read the previous day. I engaged in a little banter with my Maths buddy and then proceeded to write. It was shocking how easily things came to and how systematically everything went. I felt freer in my conversations, in my writing and within myself.
Day 11 was tragic. In an emotional aspect, I found out things that hurt me and other things that I didn’t expect. Accountability became even more important that day. It was also the day I let go of certain people, things and ideas that just didn’t make me happy. I had been stuck in a kind of toxic friendship and by this day, the detachment that first felt unfamiliar, finally felt natural. The two people who are my constant support system seemed to be going through their own battles. Usually, I would be awful at providing any sort of comfort, but that day, I knew what to say and how to say it. The rationality increased and instead of stating facts, we worked toward something.
Day 12 was hectic. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. Somehow, I got through it. I spoke to a friend of mine, it felt as if things were getting better. I sent a piece I wrote to a person I never send my writing to after worrying about it for three days and I contributed to comforting my other friend by just listening to her. More importantly, I began to realise where my anger stems from and what I can do to make it a little better. It may not seem like much, but people who know me know that this is uncharacteristic of me. Day 12 was the day I truly felt like something had changed within me.
Day 13, yesterday, was a day where I did absolutely nothing. It may not seem like much but I don’t really get days to do nothing. I always have a pile of work sitting on my desk waiting for it to be done. But yesterday, I did nothing and it felt great. I took two naps even after having slept for twelve hours the night before. More importantly, I finalised my college list.
I woke up early today. Started it off by taking a shower, having a healthy breakfast and then sitting down to work. I am a little more stressed than I have been in the past week but it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. My friend who moved to Washington years ago is visiting today, we’re having pizza and watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model. But as for now, Day 14 doesn’t seem to be going to bad. I feel content at this moment. Yes, there are a few homework assignments waiting to be done and other important matters that need to be dealt with, but they actually seem manageable.
At the end of Week 2, I can safely say I feel like I’ve gained some sort of clarity and focus. I’ve found myself being more rational, taking time out for myself, having conversations I wouldn’t particularly have and actually dealing with issues when they arise. I know it’s only been two weeks, but having the essentials and only the essentials has impacted me. At a small scale, of course. We still have two more weeks to go, who knows what can happen.