So 2016 huh? Interesting. It’s safe to say this year was a year of firsts and a year of lasts. It’s been a year that started off with me re-watching all the Star Wars films and its about to end with me sitting somewhere in my house and engaging in some odd activity to end the year on a good note.
January. It started off with me thinking I will change so much but with the impending doom that is my exams, not much happened. It was when I found out my best friend is moving to England, it was when I found out my childhood friend was moving to Mumbai and finally, it was the month I realised that I’m stuck here so I have to make the best of it. GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!
February. A lady I know got married, I didn’t attend. Things became a little more stressful. Long nights, three cups of coffee and my books spread out every day. It became a little warmer, my brother left for Iowa. I became more closed-off. Sinking into a little hole, awaiting what was yet to come. Longing for it to be over.
March. Busy. Stressful. No one wants to be the kid who doesn’t do well even after giving four sets of exams before this one that tested the exact same syllabus. Many car rides, arguments and conflicts. Anger, rage, even violence. Results. Celebrations. Saying good-bye to familiar situations.
April. Spring. The start of something new. New subjects, new people, a new way of working. Things expanded while I became smaller and smaller. New realisations, strange friendships and more-over, planning for holiday. Anxious. Fitting in? Of course not, just standing out. Trying out something new, who would have thought? Risks? Probably not.
May. My brother’s birthday. More deadlines. Application processes. Low self-esteem. Worry. Drama. Packing. STOP PROCRASTINATING!? Summer break closing in. Thank God. Relief. Escapists to Paradise. Happiness doesn’t hurt, right?
June. Summer. Travel Bug bites. Philly to Iowa to Ann Arbor to Chicago and back to Philly. New food, different experiences. Are you really from there?! Shock. The First Fall. Talking to more people than I usually do. Getting out of my shell. A little work side by side. Meeting strangers. Spending time in small bookstores. Being independent. A sense of freedom. Corn fields and corn fields and walking. Change. An abundant amount of realisations.
July. Two weeks left. Waking up every day, making Eggo waffles while brewing a cup of tea and going to paint. The ice-cream truck and running children. My First Concert. Finally an amusement park. Rick and Morty compliments, Game of Thrones and Ben&Jerry Ice Cream. Crying on the flight home. Refusing to comeback to reality. NAF. Moping around. A potential love interest?
August. Development on the Western Front. Exams. More work. Strange acquaintanceship. New Friends? Odd. Misunderstandings. Truth about people. Hurt. Long messages and midnight sob. Trying to face the facts, not wanting to be here anymore. But, a relationship maybe? No no, I could never.
September. Uneventful. Tiring. Exams. Deterioration. The Second Fall. An ominous energy looms about. Milestone birthday. Conflicting thoughts. Can I really handle it? Is this too fast? Doubt. Fear. The answer is yes. Happiness.
October. Community work. Strange experiences? Something eerie, makes me shake. Relationship progresses, things seem to be working out in your favour rather than against. Application for a post, nervousness. A new house with a beautiful terrace, a meaningful conversation with someone special. A Eulogy to my Relationship, with a little help from my friends.
November. Play Writing. Scripts, would I ever be able to manage? Freedom, identity, strong mortality. Interviews, fear. What if I mess up? Will I still be happy? Way too much reassurance, not enough compromise. Let’s take a break for a while, shall we? Tears. Drama. Guilt. Results, congratulations! Chief? Still sinking in. A proper change in dynamics. Heart slowly breaking, bones slowly aching.
December. An old new friend. I trust him. Comforting hugs. Increase in work. Difficulty in communication leads to difficult decisions. Break up. Thought it’d be worse. Turns out it wasn’t, moving on was nothing. Family reunion, anger, high emotions and Christmas spirit all wrapped into one. More work. Winter vacation. Road trips, way too many anger issues. Peak Existentialism. Break downs. Stress, stress and even more STRESS. Vulnerability, self-assurance, esteem? Discovering parts of myself I never knew existed.
So 2016 huh? That was it, to put it very briefly. It was a horrible year speaking in a very generalised way but for me, it was a year with ups and downs. It was a year where I discovered my quirks and a side of me that I never thought would ever be attached to a person like me. It was where I got rid of parts I loathed and found parts I loved. It was a year where I learnt to be comfortable in my own skin and face things, rather than run away. It was a year which will always be memorable solely because of the memories, the people and the emotion.
To all the people who made that year memorable, thank you. Thank you for seeing past my dark humour and high-stress attitude. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on and not getting mad when I call at 3AM. Thank you for making me realise who I am and what I love. And to all of y’all who I can now proudly call my family, I’d not be sitting here in front of a screen with a cup of coffee and typing at the beginning of a new year without you.
So 2016 huh? You’ve been an averagely good one. A year in a couple of paragraphs, oddly framed but harbouring little parts of me. Well then, that’s it, isn’t it? Now, it’s 2017 huh? Interesting.